Blink

I am currently reading this book called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. So far I like it. There is a lot of insight on relationships and character and stuff.

Here are some thing I am learning from it :

The Big five personality inventory:

1. Extraversion: are you sociable or retire? Fun-loving or reserved?

2. Agreeableness. Are you trusting or suspicious? Helpful or uncooperative?

3. conscientiousness. Are you organized or disorganized? Self-disciplined or weak willed?

4. emotional stability. Are you worried or calm? Insecure or secure?

5. openness to new experiences. Are you imaginative or down-to-earth? Independent or conforming?

Obviously I strongly desire to be sociable, fun loving trusting, helpful, self-disciplined, organized, emotionally stable, calm, secure, and independent. I guess I am not sure if I desire to be fun loving. I think I would like to be, but naturally I do tend to be a bit reserved and I think that is ok. I also do not have a strong preference for if I am imaginative or down to earth. I think they both have benefits. This chart is an eye opener because I am worried that I am falling into the category of the things I do not like. I need to fight to stay self disciplined and organized. Being fun loving, secure, helpful and calm all take intentional effort! It is not genetics, it is an active choice.

I also learned that your bedroom give three kinds of clues to someone’s personality.

1. identity claims. Example: framed diploma, pictures of a track finish…etc

2. behavioral: dirty laundry on the floor vs an alphabetized DVD collection

3. thoughts and feeling regulators: scented candle, art work, making bed. Things that people do to make themselves feel at home are especially good clue. Like peaking inside the medicine cabinet or drawers is especially insightful.

This makes me wonder what kind of message I am sending to the world by my room and how I dress. It also makes me wonder what kind of message I am sending to myself. I have a hunch that if I put more of an intentional effort into decorating my room and my style, that I will better clue others into how they should treat me and that how I treat myself will follow.

Here are things I need to consider about my room: make your bed, keep it very clean, make it inviting, put up curtains and light, artwork and pictures.

In Blink I also read women tend to criticize and men tend to stonewall (cold shoulder). I have a lot to learn before I enter a marriage relationship and my prayer is that God will teach me how to relate to others and how to behave selflessly in a relationship so I can have a positive marriage. I am terrified that I will one day become the stereotypical nagging, annoying wife. I am also scared that I am already the stereotypical girl and drive people crazy with how much i talk about things that essentially don't matter.