Get Real to Get Healed

I think my biggest problem when it comes to losing weight is being real. I often am mystified as to how I got so heavy and why I now just can't seem to lose the extra weight. I am tempted to blame poor genetics as the culprit. And as I feel like I am doing everything right: I run every day, often twice a day, I eat almost only super healthy foods, in small quantities. All that considered, I am tempted to believe that I am one of those people that fat just clings to and doesn't come off for anything. But I suspect that the real reason is I am simply unaware of how much I am actually eating and perhaps in denial about how much i am actually running. That is a huge reason I started this blog. I am committing to keeping a detailed food diary and fitness journal. I am nervous about this. I suck at commitment, I suck at organization, and I risk crossing the line from health to obsession (ok, now that that's in writing, it seems ridiculous--the power of the blog). Ok, so I am committing to it. And I'm sorry, but a lot of it will turn up here. For example: breakfast: weight control oatmeal with protein--not the healthiest option (it has aspartame) but it's so good! I ate about 1.5 packets, which I estimate to be 250 calories. I also ate a peach (35). So that is all well and good, but here's the downside, I kept nibbling. I ate some grapes, some cereal, and --gasp--some ice cream? wow, this is why i'm fat. i also ate pistaccios, peanutbutter, and black berries. I see so many people confused as to how they got chubby, but I often see others eat more than they realize, but I refuse to be that girl. Being thin is important to me. I wish it weren't so, but my happiness does depend on my weight. I will lose 20 pounds. It will be tough. It will be horribly tough, it will take courage, sweat, and maybe some tears. It will take sacrifice, it will take effort, and it will take change. Change takes changes, I would be a fool to think I can do the same things, with more effort, and lose weight. Something's gotta give.